What’s the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and the Democrat Party?

Jeffrey Epstein didn’t commit suicide.

Alabama family spots thieves that stole their Christmas presents, holds them at gunpoint until police arrive

Can I get a Ho Ho Ho?

A fun new “Greta on the Shelf” doll will watch you every day and fly back to the UN each night to report your climate sins to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

The doll is equipped with eye sensors programmed to detect activities that are harmful to the environment…

Just imagine that squeaky voice bleating ‘How dare you’! as you go full Doctor Sid on its limbs and appendages.

…does Sam see any connection there?

Exhibit A for the defence, Your Honour.

Just one of the 45 Times Parents Hilariously Expressed Their Struggles On Twitter.

 

We lost a good one today. A really good one.

Clive James, RIP.

He was often riotously funny as he skewered celebrities with finely honed witticisms. Aging romance novelist Barbara Cartland wore so much makeup, Mr. James wrote, that her eyes looked “like the corpses of two crows that had flown into a chalk cliff.”

The Washington Post gives Clive an excellent send off at the link above.

Here in Clive’s homeland, Andrew Bolt presents a Clive James obituary written by none other than Clive James, which Clive said will serve as a cheaper obituary than anything most newspapers are likely to have in the freezer. 

An excerpt regarding Clive’s work as a tv critic:

The Sunday newspaper The Observer hired him as a television reviewer in 1972, and for ten years his weekly column was one of the most famous regular features in Fleet Street journalism, setting a style which was later widely copied. (Selections from the column were published in three books — Visions Before Midnight, The Crystal Bucket and Glued to the Box — and finally in a compendium, On Television.) During this period he gradually became a prominent television performer himself, and over the next two decades he wrote and presented countless studio series and specials, as well as pioneering the “Postcard” format of travel programmes, which are still in syndication all over the world. His major series Fame in the Twentieth Century was broadcast in Britain by the BBC, in Australia by the ABC and in the United States by the PBS network.

Clive was a prolific writer. His memoirs are hugely popular around the world, but I have to confess I’ve only read one of his books.

To be fair, though, it was a damn BIG book. Cultural Amnesia runs to more than 900 pages. A series of essays, each centred around a particular historical figure – some well known, many not. The sort of book you can pick up once a week and then set aside again. Although Clive’s style with words made the book hard to put down.

When someone says “They don’t make them like Clive James any more,” they won’t be lying.

(Image source: Hollywood Reporter)

Teancum Vernon Petersen-Crofts, 20, was charged with three counts of murder the day after his mother Michelle, 48, and brother Rua were found dead inside their Ellenbrook home in July last year.

Teancum. However you pronounce it, Teancum sounds like either ‘Tea and cum’ or ‘Teen cum’. And schoolkids being what they are…

According to Names.org the name has ‘Bibilical origins’. Further down the page the biblical connection is changed somewhat; Teancum appears in the Book of Mormon.

And pretty much stays there too:

From 1880 to 2017, the Social Security Administration has recorded 195 babies born with the first name Teancum in the United States.

The name has been bestowed on ‘babies’ as recently as 2017. And there’s a strong trend among modern parents for ‘original’ (ie stupid and fucked-up) children’s names.

You know what this means don’t you?

It means we can’t assume all those ‘babies’ were male.

Somewhere in America, almost certainly, someone has named their daughter Teancum.

 

And Santa has a special message for all of you.

A hell week at the office. I get home, and mirabile dictu! I discover there’s a Terry Tate video I’ve never seen before!
The weekend is off to a good start.