“Wait – you assholes aren’t supposed to applaud!”

 

Escape Plan features Sly and Arnie caught in a mystery prison, location unknown. Unfortunately they are not being held captive by bikini-clad supermodels. It is possible that Vinnie Jones was wearing a bikini under his guard’s uniform, but it’s unlikely and anyway, let’s not go there.
Sly is the world’s greatest prison escapologist. Evil Jesus is the warden, and he wants information. Arnie tells him what he knows and delivers one of the screen’s utmost Bronco Hammer moments.

Take your pick of preferred tune.

The Star Wars Imperial March fits nicely. But that ol’ Yakity Sax, that’s hard to beat too.

The downside:

By Johannes Leak, upholding with honour the family business. Johannes is the son of cartoonist Bill Leak, who you may recall for one cartoon in particular.

The upside:

Cassie Langan and her husband Chris were rebuffed after wanting to take their “three unappreciative kids” to country Victoria for a day trip. But they had the perfect response to their children’s preference to being on screens rather than seeing the great outdoors. While the kids stayed at home, the family’s “overworked” modem went on the trip and visited southern Victoria’s picturesque locations.

Parents – a strategy to consider! Children – you’d better hope this isn’t seen by your parents!

The man, 27, was linked to the fires thanks to an ankle tag he was wearing as part of bail conditions for alleged sex offences.

Sweet tears of baby Jesus.

If stupid was petrol this clown could drive around Australia five times without stopping.

I wonder if he got loose from Florida somehow.

Breitbart is running a ‘who won’ poll on the latest pillow fight between the Democrats. I don’t understand why the options don’t include either (a)None of the above, or (b)Donald Trump.

When that meme magic starts a-hollering, damn sure I’ll be a-follerin’.

A loss for his friends and family, for England, and for all thinking people the world around.

James Delingpole delivers a fine obituary for Sir Roger at Breitbart.

‘Conservatives are people who love something actual and want to retain it.’

Photo by Pete Helme, found at Wikipedia.

Glesca’s going Gotham for Robbie Pattinson!

Well, maybe they’ll use my old home town one day too. Melbourne has a very Gotham City feel to it. Perth is a hot place that cools down for a few months in winter; Melbourne is a cold place that pretends it’s a hot place for a few weeks around Christmas time.

Officially, the Australian winter begins on the first day of June. Not in Melbourne, where the temperatures begin to drop noticeably in early autumn. By May the mornings are bloody cold. And you can watch the mercury rise and fall with the passage of the sun across the sky.

But a lot of the time you can’t see the sun at all. My memories of the city on the Yarra mostly feature dark cloudy skies. Melbourne is a gloomy place with many secrets. Lots of small back streets and funny little alleyways.

A city’s not a city unless you can get lost in it. Even though I grew up in Melbourne, every time I go back I discover a new corner.

Anyway, Glasgow. The latest Gotham City. Oh, and read the article to see who’s joined the cast as Alfred.