Posted by: Gregoryno6 | December 24, 2018

If I’m not back in five minutes, call the Pope!

I liked The Haunting. Strictly daytime viewing, mind you, and even that wasn’t a 100% safe space. Not when they throw moments like this at you.

It was an interesting exercise in how far you can go in adapting a book to the screen and still be considered faithful to the source material. I would say The Haunting crossed the line of faithfulness. It was effective, but there was much that was either entirely new or a serious distortion of the original. Had the scriptwriters pushed themselves a touch harder they could have delivered something altogether new. But then they would have lost the association with a genuine horror classic.

Not all who embark upon literary adaptations are impelled by similar motivations. Sometimes it’s obvious that their mission statement is Let’s slap a few totally unrelated ideas together and go for it!

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is to Christianity as Star Wars is to physics, but is certainly entertaining to those of a not-too-respectful perspective. And Phil Caracas probably bears more resemblance to Jesus than either Willem Dafoe or Jeffrey Hunter – or Diogo Morgado or Ewan McGregor.

Body of Christ!

This isn’t Sermon On The Mount Jesus. It’s Kicking Moneychanger Butt Jesus.

He gets beaten up a lot, but he gives as good as he gets. When he’s confronted by atheists, Jesus sets parables aside for pugilism.

Let’s get on with the conversions!

Mary Magnum (no, really) gives Jesus a wardrobe update and then it’s time to go underground.

If I’m not back in five minutes, call the Pope!

And if you think the Lord works in mysterious ways, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.

Jesus – I have not abandoned you!

Oh – hi, Dad. What’s your advice?

Call your mother. She misses you.

If you’re tired of Miracle on 34th Street… if you can’t handle the pretentious sophistry of Santa Clause Versus The Martians… make Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter your Christmas Day family movie in 2018. Then go out and buy a bucketload of drumsticks.

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