Posted by: Gregoryno6 | December 24, 2017

News from Perth.

The West Australian state government has announced precautionary measures designed to head off similar attacks such as that carried out in Melbourne.

Concrete bollards will be installed along all main streets through the Perth CBD at two-metre intervals. These will not be regular bollards, the Premier was pleased to point out. Perth will be installing ‘enhanced’ bollards, specifically the Hans Blix Bollard which becomes VERY, VERY ANGRY with any motorist who attempts mass murder of pedestrians.

Terrorists, your game is through.

The Premier admitted that these measures may prove insufficient. With an ill-concealed smirk on his face he revealed that the government has a Plan B. It is preparing to auction off the Governor’s Residence to Chinese businessmen. The revenue is expected to cover the purchase of at least fifty Gandalf-level bollards.

According to an instant poll of nobody, West Australians are already feeling safer.


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