Posted by: Gregoryno6 | May 13, 2014

Federal Budget Breaking News! ABC suffers mortal blow!

Canberra 13 May – Australia’s federal Treasurer guaranteed the total collapse of civilisation and the eventual extinction of all life in the galaxy this evening when he announced that the Australian Bolshevist Collective would suffer a budget cut of…

…wait for it…

ONE PERCENT.

Already the torchlight mobs are rallying.

No Cuts

(GetUp, as you’d gather from this assembly, is short for GetUpCarefullyDearYouKnowYou’veGotADodgyHip.)

Prime Minister Tony Abbott said he looked forward to being excoriated by ‘the people who didn’t say boo when Labor stuffed the numbers year after year. Yes, I’m breaking an election promise. I said no cuts to the ABC. Perhaps we should have sized the cut according to the ABC’s audience. That might have left them with twenty bucks and half a jar of Vegemite.’

ABC Managing Director Mark Scott was too busy wailing and rending his garments to comment.

Face the Music

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