Posted by: Gregoryno6 | May 8, 2014

NOAF Week – the Antipodean Edition.

NOAF Week? National Offend A Feminist Week. An American tradition I’m happy to recognise here on the other side of the world.

Bob Belvedere will be MC’ing the event over at his place, as is his traditional role. Bob has plenty of contemporary material to cover – this year I’ve gone retro for that offbeat feel. And if you just said ‘Ha – offbeat instead of beat off’, go stand in the corner.

How un-PC is this? From Weird Vintage:

1959 illustration from L.A.’s The Mirror, illustrating how women’s bodies were judged in the Miss Universe contest.

Miss Universe Chart

1) Shoulders too square
2) Shoulders too sloping
3) Hips too wide
4) Shoulder bones too pronounced
5) Shoulders and back hunched
6) Legs irregular, with spaces at calves, knees and thighs
7) The form divine, needs only a beautiful face

That would make Gina Elise an 8…

autolifeguard

9 if she gives you the kiss of life… But already I digress.

Weird Vintage yielded other gems too.

Isn't it obvious

Self explanatory. The ladies are so devoted to their men that they want to be absolutely certain they put their carnation in the correct button hole. O, for those times to return! These days the man of the house gets a shopping list and ‘Your turn to pick the kids up from sport.’

Say hello

Okay… not so self explanatory. But I’m sure that any feminist, suitably qualified with degrees, would condemn this as a pure objectification of the female body. The two parts of a woman most desirable for a man placed in convenient proximity with no purpose beyond some walking sperm bank’s momentary gratification.

Which is absolute rubbish. How does she maintain this pose and get her guy a beer from the fridge?

Speaking of rubbish and feminist gobbledygook:

Sfluke

This story is a little old now, but I would like to say a few words about the words of Sandra Fluke.

Twenty years is not that long ago. I, for one, have a memory span at least slightly greater than that of the average goldfish. And twenty years ago the feminist line was date rape and men should have a checklist. ‘Do I have your permission to put my arm around your waist?’

Then Sandra turned up and I discovered that the femmes of today are so busy copulating that they can’t even work enough hours to buy condoms as well as groceries.

If a man complained that his wallet wasn’t deep enough keep him in prophylactics, would we take him seriously?

No. We’d laugh. And tell him to stay in his bedroom with his dad’s magazines.

Ladies. If you can’t afford a man – buy a vibrator.

 

 

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Responses

  1. Well done! Link coming.

    • Much obliged.And I might have a few ladies in the archives to help with the Six Days. I’ll be in touch.

  2. […] NOAF Week – the Antipodean Edition. | The mind is an unexplored country.. […]


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