Posted by: Gregoryno6 | August 11, 2013

Improvised reportage of tonight’s debate.

The following headline is as dubious as everything that follows it…

Kevin Rudd failed to go in for the kill on Tony Abbott in first election debate

Reading from notes and speaking over his allotted time, Kevin Rudd came off as a total loser. Useless twat.

Rudd blamed Tony Abbott for the invasion of Singapore in 1942 and said that Collingwood would have won a lot more Grand Finals if his opponent’s family had stayed in England. He was repeatedly heard muttering ‘Vote for me you ratfuckers. At least I’m not Julia Gillard’ while his opponent was speaking.

Rudd promised to abolish the GST, daylight saving, women’s cricket, and a small corner of northwestern India that nobody on the panel had ever heard of. Abbott, he warned, would demand the sacrifice of firstborn children. In spite of Mr Abbott’s denials, Rudd insisted that Abbott ate polar bears for breakfast at least twice a week.

Watching from home, Therese Rein shook her head and said ‘That’s it. We’re fucked now.’



  1. “Meanwhile the Labor candidate for the Queensland seat of Kennedy, Ken Robertson, stood down from the race after calling Mr. Abbott a racist and “very bigoted” in an interview.”


    Racist? Gosh, where have I heard that term? Thank the Big Boy upstairs, WE don’t have those sort of problems..

    ‘fer Christ Sakes..

    • ‘He said he was withdrawing “in the interests of ensuring that this matter does not distract from Labor’s campaign for a fairer Australia”.’
      Translation: head office has kicked my braindead arse into the street.

  2. What was that classic film? Oh Yeah, It’s a Wonderful Life.

    Sure is!

    • As the Beatles said, it’s getting better.

      • Day Tripper. Aren’t drugs wonderful?

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