Posted by: Gregoryno6 | September 16, 2012

Once again, it’s time to play Mock The Jooolya!

Where to begin? Since we’re talking about the Prime Minister, an obvious starting place is with the leader of the opposition.

Shock and outrage spilled across the Commonwealth during the week when Tony Abbott was accused of punching a wall – said wall being in close proximity to a woman’s head. Evidence beyond the merely anecdotal has been thin. A lawyer claims to be a witness even though he didn’t actually see the punching – and doesn’t even describe being shown the wall. Nor did he think of getting a photo of the damage, apparently.

Doesn’t seem like the sort of lawyer I’d want in court. ‘I did not see the incident, but I was nearby.’ I wasn’t there when the flying saucers emerged from Santa’s butt hole either. But obviously I’m a witness. What else could I be?

The Laborlovin’ media haven’t got quite the play they would have expected from this story. In fact it’s become another exploding cigar, and only highlights their growing sense of desperation. Tony Abbott’s university days are fair game for investigation, but Jooolya’s part in her boyfriend’s union scams – despite much more substantial evidence – are let slide with a ‘young and naive’. And a carefully managed press conference.  Leaving her free to get on with her real work in government…

If you think Tony messed up a wall, wait till I’m finished with the economy.

Speaking of which, this flyer arrived in my letterbox last week.

A nice attempt to reassure the citizens that all is well, which is highly unlikely to give the government much of a boost. The citizens are quite familiar by now with the interesting way the Circus of Ineptitude handles numbers. If Henry has five apples and Sally takes three, how many apples does Henry still have? Labor’s reply: Fifteen and a half camels. Plus a zebra.

Their understanding of arithmetic belongs to an alternate universe. Although the fact that we have this stupid tax at all is grievance enough in itself. ‘There will be no…’ No what? No memory? Sorry, Circus clowns. You’re not getting off that hook. Ever.

Animosity is appearing even among their supporters. Jooolya, having promised much, is now unable to deliver.  Rob ’17 minutes!’ Oakeshott is not the sharpest knife in the rack. But $600 million is a big promise to go back on. Still, Joolya can probably sleep at night without worrying about a rebellion among the independents, who know that the next election is their last. They can get as hairy-chested as they want with the local paper; walking into the House of Reps and tearing up the pact of betrayal requires a little more brass downstairs.

So far as I know, there have been no rumours of another Rudd challenge for the leadership for at least – oh, the last five minutes, I guess. The government’s whisperers are certain that they can’t win with Gillard, but the only alternative they can offer is a former leader. One who was badly on the nose with the citizens when Jooolya knifed him. Malcolm Turnbull, former Liberal leader, adored by people who will never vote Liberal, should cross the floor and offer his services. It’s hard to imagine that he could do much for the government, but at least he’d be among his ideological brethren.

This is as likely as Craig Emerson taking dancing lessons. Hold fast, citizens, and remember: there are better days ahead.


Responses

  1. Well of course it isn’t. Effentwatz is close to Balzers, Liechtenstein. Main attraction is the castle of Gutenberg.

  2. Balzers? There are no balzers to be found near that pack of idiots up there.

    • Same here. Unless of course, our boy wonder really is an intellect and I don’t think so.

  3. No Jooolya, I did NOT set your vibrator to the highest setting..

    • Oh thanks. I was just about to start cooking dinner.

      • Hey, no prob. 🙂


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